11 November 2012

Les Misérables

Les Misérables

I am so excited about this. I have never seen Les Misérables but I love the music I don't fully know the story but I am so excited to be able to fall in love with the story along with the music. I hope Anne Hathaway and Eddie Redmayne are as good as I hope they will be.

I dreamed a dream. How many of us dream a dream that will never come true. I know I have. I am sure I will keep dreaming dreams that will never be. Yet we will still keep dreaming.

06 November 2012

Family chosing sides

My heart is truly hurt. My dad's family is willing to see my dad for the holidays and not my mom.

A couple days ago my mom called my Aunt and set up a day that we could go see her family and my grandma. A day after we set it up my mom got an E-mail from her saying that they didn't not feel comfortable with having her up but if Bug (my son) really wanted to see the girls (her daughters (my cousins)) then I should ask about going up with Scott. I will not do that. Since my dad left he has only talked to me twice and has only seen Bug once. I have had to figure out ways to comfort Bug. He has had multiple melt downs, outburst of rage/frustration/ hurt because he is unable to fully explain how he feels and long periods of crying. These used to happen every day, some days multiple times (one so bad that he had to visit me at work after he calmed down because he was so upset.) I can not (nor do I want to) have him spend a day with Scott, for he will just go back to square one. It is to stressful for me, it is to hard on him and its not what is best for Bug.

I thought my family would be there for Bug and for me. I guess I was wrong. It is sad that the family pushed my mom away. In doing so they have also pushed me and Bug away. Bug doesn't have that much family. I guess I truly know who our family is though now because of this.

My Grandpa is being there more then anyone else. He is flying in from California for a little over the week. This is a great blessing because of when he is coming. I was so worried about what I was going to do about school conference time because I have longer hours. My grandpa is coming during that time and so I know he will watch Bug for me. I hope that this visit will help Bug out a lot.

I am so thankful for Sister Nye who is willing to help out and be there and watch Bug when I need a babysitter. I am thankful for those members in the church who know what is going on. Yes they don't talk to me about it and yes they don't come up and ask me how I am doing but I don't want that. They have noticed that I just need to be there, that I just want to act like nothing has changed. It is extremely hard to deal with but I know if someone tries to be really nice and sweet then I am sure I will completely fall apart.

This is all my dad's doing and not my moms, my brothers or mine. If his decision makes it so Bug has even a smaller family because they are not willing to spend time with my mom then that is how it is. What is best for Bug is for family to support him and not be there supporting Scott. They have made it clear which side they are choosing. It hurts me a lot, but I am the one that has to watch out for Bugs well being and his best interest and if that means that I have to say our schedules just don't work out with theirs that is what I am going to have to do. I just hope what family he does have would supports us. I know he wont come out of it unharmed. I just hope that it will be as little as possible.

03 November 2012

Prayer Train

I am unable to figure out how to add a word document. I had a train set up in a word document in black & white one sheet easy to print off.
I had to find the train again & use Paint to take away the color. I am unable to change the color of the words on the train but if you wish for it to be all black & white just set your printer to black & white.
I was also unable to figure out how to put the two pictures together or how to make the picture its full size when clicking on it. All you have to do is copy & paste the picture in a word document & set it up to the size you want (be it one page or even bigger & have each picture on a separate pages). Then print.

The kids can then color & decorate how they like & put it up in their room. It can be a great visual reminder of how to say a prayer so they can learn how to have their own personal prayers.

02 November 2012

A lesson on Prayer and Graditude

We had a lesson about Prayer on Sunday. It reminded me of a FHE lesson I had made up when a few of the sisters at Church decided to do a FHE lesson exchange. Sadly this didn't go as well as we had hopped and we haven't done it since. I did my part and made a lesson on Prayer.

In the lesson on Sunday we talked about that you can't always ask for things from Heavenly Father. The group was consistent in saying that we also need to tell Heavenly Father thanks for what we have. It was funny though. one said "you need to have four thank yous in your pray" another said, "you need to have more thank yous then things you are asking for." We are not told how many or what ratio we should have thank yous to asking for what we need. One also brought up it is okay not to have a thank you in every prayer if you are praying for someone to get better. Each kid has learned something slightly different at home about prayers but in reality they have all been taught the same, only difference is in the manor their parents have taught them about prayers. They all knew that you prayed to Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ name.

My Valiant 10 class also said that we need to be thankful for the blessings we received for if we are not we could lose those blessings or we could not gain any more blessings. I feel this is an important lesson. Sometimes in this busy world we forget to count our blessings. To actually see what we have been showered with. At times in our lives it can be hard to see the blessings but we need to search for them or to learn to recognize them. With everything going on in my life I think I kind of forgot this.

After Church I was just thinking and I realized Oh I am so thankful I was about to get off work for Trunk or Treat at Church to be able to take Bug. I am so thankful I was about to talk to D at work about Bug and how everything is effecting him. Being invited to a Halloween FHE so Bug can have fun and I am able to go. I am So thankful even though I didn't ask to have Halloween off my Manager gave the night off for me so I could take Bug Trick or Treating.

We also talked about we don't always get the answer to are prayer that we want. Heavenly Father knows best and sometimes the answer is not what we expect or what we want. He sees the big picture and even thou the answer we want would be a good choice its not always right in the moment or order of Heavenly Father's Will.  It's like a puzzle. We can be given pieces to our life and somehow they will fit together. We have to remember we don't have all those pieces be it that we are not ready or its not for where we are in our lives at that moment. If we don't have all the pieces how are we to know what the whole picture looks like? We can't and we won't. Heavenly Father is the one with the puzzle box with the picture on the cover. He knows the whole picture. He knows how each piece fits together. We need his guidance to put the pieces together. Sometimes a piece we have won't fit with what we have because the place isn't there to put it yet. That is why we need to follow Heavenly Father's Will. Eventually we will start to see parts of the picture because pieces will fit together. We won't understand or see the whole picture but if we continue to follow Heavenly Father's Will things will start becoming clearer to us.

Sunday I was having a rotten day. Saturday pretty much all day I kept saying to myself I don't want to go to Church tomorrow. To be honest I felt the same way on Sunday. I desperately didn't want to be there. I went and I realized that I had so many blessings hidden with the pain, stress, frustration and bad things. I am still struggling and yes I would rather be in bed or at home not having to deal with people. I am trying and yes I might of felt sorta invisible at the Halloween FHE on Monday but if I didn't go I would be hiding more and more in my shell and each day would get harder and harder.I am managing and I think realizing that there are little blessings popping up just like little buds pop up in the spring is the little help that Heavenly Father knows will help me even though it doesn't seem like enough in the present moment..

I hope that I can actually notice these little blessings and show Heavenly Father gratitude for the many things he has given me.I found some cute and practical lessons on gratitude and I hope to share them soon.

My Related Post on Prayer : 

My Prayer  
FHE - Prayer
Prayer Train

FHE - Prayer

"I can pray to Heavenly Father, and He will hear and answer my prayers."


Help family members develop a sincere desire to pray, and help them know that they will always receive an answer because Heavenly Father loves them.

Opening Song

"Sweet Hour of Prayer" (Hymns, no. 142).


Bishop H. Burke Peterson: "I want you to know that I know that whenever one of Heavenly Father's children kneels and talks to him, he listens. I know this as well as I know anything in this world—that Heavenly Father listens to every prayer from his children. I know our prayers ascend to heaven. No matter what we may have done wrong, he listens to us.
"I also believe he answers us. I don't believe he ignores his children when they talk to him." ("Prayer—Try Again," Ensign, June 1981, p. 73.)

Have someone in your family read aloud Matthew 7:11.
Q. What do you think this scripture means?
Now have the members of your family share their examples of when their prayers were answered.
Explain to your family that because Heavenly Father loves them he will always answer their prayers in the way that is best for them. Sometimes the answer will be yes; sometimes, no; sometimes, wait; and sometimes he will let us work it out ourselves. Explain that Heavenly Father knows what is best for us, and he will give us "good things" or the things that will help us the most, because he loves us.
Q. Have you ever felt that your prayers were not answered?
Explain to your family that sometimes we do not realize that Heavenly Father has answered our prayers, but later we see that he has given us an answer. Tell the story to illustrate (on following page)
Q. Have you ever prayed for something and not recognized the answer to your prayer until later?
Let the family members give examples.
Remind your family that Heavenly Father answers all their prayers and they can always trust him to know what is best for them (see D&C 88:64, D&C 112:10). 
Q. When, how, where, why do we pray?
 Have someone read aloud Alma 34:21, 26, 27
How to Pray: In Matthew 6:515, the Savior gave some directions and a model for prayer. Ask family members to suggest different ways people pray. Discuss how these ways fit with what the Savior taught. Discuss what language to use while praying, saying silent prayers, using memorized prayers or repetitious wordings, what we should and should not ask for in our prayers, and relying on the Spirit as we pray.

Brother Robinson had just moved his small family into their new cabin home near the forest where he worked. He was grateful for his daughter and his beautiful wife, who would soon have their second child.
The family knelt in prayer together one night around the dinner table. They thanked Heavenly Father for their blessings and asked for his protection.
As the family sat at the table together, they could hear the frightening sounds of the wind as it whistled through the trees in the nearby forest. Suddenly the wind uprooted a giant tree. Five different trees fell, one knocking down the other. One tree crashed through the roof of their small cabin, breaking the boards over their heads. One of the boards fell on Brother Robinson and cut his head.
Fortunately, no one was seriously injured, but Brother Robinson's family had to leave their home and return to live with relatives in the city for the winter. Brother Robinson had to leave them and return to the logging camp to continue working.
(Do you think the family's prayer was answered? )
Brother Robinson recalled his feelings at the time, "My home was in shambles, and I was separated from my family. I felt as if the Lord had not heard our prayers, and I wondered how he could have allowed this to happen to us."
Brother Robinson continued, "Later I realized how wrong I was in thinking that the Lord had not heard our prayers, for the snowstorms were so terrible that year that many families were snowed in all winter. We would have been left to ourselves with no help or supplies and no doctor to deliver the baby. I could have lost my wife or our new baby girl—or both! I realized then that the Lord had heard and answered our prayer for our protection."
(Explain that sometimes, like Brother Robinson, we do not recognize answers to our prayers because we do not see everything as clearly as our Heavenly Father does.)

Closing Song
 “A Prayer Song” (Children’s Song Book # 22)

As a family, memorize Doctrine and Covenants 10:5. Memorize a few words at a time and have each family member repeat them. Follow this by lining up and having each member of the family, in order, say the word that comes next until someone misses a word. Do this several times; by the end of the activity most of the family will remember the scripture very well.
For young children: color prayer train and talk about how to say a prayer, attach train to wall for a visual reminder
For older children: have them write down prayers and then listen to answers. When they receive the answer to their prayers they can write down the answer or that it was answered and then visually see that the Lord does answer prayers.
Other song choices:
"We bow our heads" (Children's Song Book pg. 25A)
"I pray in faith" (Children's Song Book pg. 14)

Other Ideas: 
  • Talk about prayer from the bible dictionary (under prayer) about talking to Heavenly Father because we are his literal children.
  •  Choose four children to help you with this activity.  Make a small train track from masking tape and for the children to stand on. The children represent a train. Give each of the children a part of prayer train; however, do not give it to them in order.  Give the first child the train, "We thank thee...", the second child, "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen", etc.  See if anyone can help you put this train in the right order.  As each child is asked to stand in their correct place, review the importance of the order of prayer.  Ask the children if they would ever go to their mom and start out a conversation by saying, "Because I want to mom!"  What would your mother say?  Probably, "What do you want?"  When we speak to our parents, we show respect; however, we show an even greater level of respect by following the steps of prayer.  
  • STORY: Let me tell you a story...it might sound familiar, but then again, it might not.
    A little steam engine had a long train of cars to pull.  She went along very well till she came to a steep hill. But then, no matter how hard she tried, she could not move the long train of cars.  She pulled and she pulled. She puffed and she puffed.
    Have you ever had a hard day and you huff and puff?? Do you ever just want to talk to someone about your day?  Let's see what happens...

    She backed and started off again. Choo! Choo!  But no! the cars would not go up the hill.  At last she left the train and started up the track alone. Do you think she had stopped working? No, indeed! She was going for help.
      "Surely I can find someone to help me ," she thought.
    Who could the Little Engine ask for help? Maybe a friend?
    Over the hill and up the track went the little steam engine. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo!
    Pretty soon she saw a big steam engine standing on a side track. He looked very big and strong. Running alongside, she looked up and said: "Will you help me over the hill with my train of cars? It is so long and heavy I can't get it over."  The big steam engine said he couldn't help.
    The Little Engine decides to ask another friend for help....do you think they'll be able to help her?

    She went on, Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo!  Soon she came to a second big steam engine standing on a side track. He was puffing and puffing, as if he were tired.  "That big steam engine may help me," thought the little steam engine. She ran alongside and asked: "Will you help me bring my train of cars over the hill? It is so long and so heavy that I can't get it over."  The second big steam engine answered: "I have just come in from a long, long run. Don't you see how tired I am? Can't you get some other engine to help you this time?
    Instead of asking friends for help this time, the Little Engine decides to ask for help from Heavenly Father.  How do we speak to Heavenly Father?  (Through prayer).  Does Heavenly Father listen to everyone's prayers or just certain people?  (Everyone) Well then let's see what happens to Little Engine.
    After a while she said a little prayer.  She said, "Dear Heavenly Father..." (show picture of Train 1), "I thank thee (show picture of Train 2) for the strength thou hast given to me so far.  The journey is so long and so heavy I don't know if I can make it.  I ask thee (show picture of Train 3) to help me over the hill with my train of cars.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen (show picture of Train 4)."
    The little steam engine felt so happy inside.  She knew Heavenly Father was saying, "Yes, indeed!  I would love to help you...thank you for thinking of me!  But I need you to do your part...will you try?"
    "Yes, I'll do my best," said the little steam engine, and off she went. Choo, choo! Choo, choo! Choo, choo!  So the little steam engines started back to where the train of cars had been standing. Slowly the cars began to move. Slowly they climbed the steep hill. As they climbed, the little steam engine began to sing:  "I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can! I-think-I-can!  And together they did! Very soon they were over the hill and going down the other side.
    Now they were on the plain again; and the little steam engine could pull her train herself.
    The Little Engine knew that Heavenly Father had helped her through a tough situation, one she couldn't have done by herself.  What would be a good thing to do at this point?

    She offered a quick prayer of thanks.  She said, "Dear Heavenly Father..." (show picture of Train 1), "I thank thee for helping me when I didn't have the strength (show picture of Train 2).  I ask thee to continue to be with me (show picture of Train 3).  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen (show picture of Train 4)."  And she went merrily on her way, singing that together she knew-they-could, she knew-they-could, she knew-they-could, she knew-they-could.
    When we call upon Heavenly Father to help us, we become a team.  He asks us to do our part and He will do His. 

Peanut Butter Yummies
1 pkg. graham crackers, finely crushed
1 pound powdered sugar
2 cups peanut butter
1 cup butter, divided
1 cup your favorite jam
12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
Combine graham cracker crumbs, powdered sugar, peanut butter, and 2/3 cup butter by hand until blended. Press into an 8×8-inch square pan. Spread jam and crumb mixture. In small saucepan, combine remaining 1/3 cup butter and chocolate chips; heat until melted. Spread over jam. Refrigerate for 1 hour and serve in small piece. 

Other refreshment options:
TRAIN TREATS:  (Here are several possible edible train creations for refreshments). 

1.  Marshmallow Trains - Use pretzel sticks to hook the "cars" together and peanut butter to glue cheerios on as wheels and other features. 

2.  Graham Cracker Trains - Make these flat on a paper plate.  Use frosting to connect the sides and decorate. 

3.  Hostess Twinkie Trains - Attach cookie wheels (Oreos) with frosting. 

4.  Edible Train
(Click here to see picture): Make a delicious train out of cookies, snack cakes and other goodies! (Source: www.tosmagazine.com

01 November 2012

My Prayer

                                                 July 10th 2003
Oh my glorious Lord
Set me free
And let me be on fire for you
Do not let me to become passive
I do not want a passive faith
But a faith that is active
Open my eyes to you
Give me a heart to serve you
I want to grow in you
Lead me in the direction you wish me to go in
I wish to be your child
I ask for nothing more
I want your love to over flow me
And lead me on the path to you
I want to know you
I want to be your blessed child

26 October 2012

Holy Spirit Guides

So many things are happening and its making it so much harder on me. I had to give rules to my dad for the benefit of my son. Because I did so and because my dad is playing the martyr he is refusing to agree to my terms. He now is not allowed to babysit because he wont agree to me telling him he needs permission to take Bug anywhere. I honestly think that when I gave him these rules he saw his way out of babysitting. He has seemed to resent having to babysit on Saturdays. He said he would and now he is refusing. It feels like if he really loved Bug he would agree to my terms so he could see him. When he told me Saturday he didn't agree to the terms I couldn't even look at him and he refused to talk about it. Before telling me he came to Bugs Soccer game, the last one of the season. He took Bug out to lunch and had to take me because I wouldn't let him take Bug alone because I don't know what will happen. I don't trust him right now because of his past lies, his present lies and what I am sure he will have, future lies.

A handful of people do not agree with what I have decided. they say I need to let the relationship with my son and my dad stay the same and it can not. Others agree with me. I really truly believe this is right and what the Holy Spirit is telling me to do. I don't want Bug growing up mad at the world. I have talked to a co-worker who I found out that his parents divorced right when he turned 7. He told me about how it affected him. I know its not Bugs parents divorcing but it still could and most likely with affect him in similar ways. Specially with Bug not having a father in his life. I don't even know how it is truly going to mess with him. He has no father and now it looks like he will have no grandfathers. When his great grandfather passes away its going to be devastating. He is unable to voice how he feels. I have no idea what he is fully going through for he does not understand how he is even feeling, let alone knows how to explain it. My co-worker was able to give insight on how a 7 year old could be affected by these changes. He believes my choice is also the right one. I except his understanding of it because he has lived it.  My son is in my best interest. Yes maybe its not what seems to be best for him RIGHT now, but in the BIG PICTURE it is.

Heavenly Father answers are prayers and even if the answer is not what we think it should be he knows best and we have to except his will. Even if it doesn't seem right for us at the time in the big picture it is. It always works out and it has to follow the path Heavenly Father has set us on for a reason even if we don't understand it at the time. Similar parents know best to because of the guidance that the Holy Spirit gives them for their family. I am head of my family and so My Lord will give me counsel in how to support and raise my son. I am following this counsel and will do so because I am a Daughter of God and he has given me the power of womanhood. This is my job and even though it is not easy I will follow his will.