I sit here writing a blog starting on paper for I am stuck outside at Bug's Swim lesson. I have no book to read so to not waste my time completely I have decided to try and write.
I have come to realize I have two Mental problems. I have know that I have had one of these for a handful of years. I had received help with it at one point for a couple of months. Now though I struggle to deal with it alone, without help. some days are better then others, other times it seems so bad that its near impossible to function. I think its also causing my insomnia to be worse and that is why I have episodes of really bad insomnia. I think its also helping along my other mental problem. which isn't a horrible case of the mental problem, but I have now realize that I do have a problem with it. I can make list of to help correct the affects of the problem, but I think the first mental problem makes it so hard to even really tackle the list. I have list on list undone. I just wrote a list of 28 items, I've gotten 1 done, it was actually completed by Bug, he found the item not me. I just found a list of 26 items to be done that I wrote in March. I've only done 8 of the items off the list. I have decided to try and get 7 of the items done today.
I think these mental problems I have are affecting me socially too, I feel like I am very anti-social because I close myself off from people for I feel inadequate to actually have friends. I do not want to be judged or hurt because of the problems I have with myself.
I have come to realize I have two Mental problems. I have know that I have had one of these for a handful of years. I had received help with it at one point for a couple of months. Now though I struggle to deal with it alone, without help. some days are better then others, other times it seems so bad that its near impossible to function. I think its also causing my insomnia to be worse and that is why I have episodes of really bad insomnia. I think its also helping along my other mental problem. which isn't a horrible case of the mental problem, but I have now realize that I do have a problem with it. I can make list of to help correct the affects of the problem, but I think the first mental problem makes it so hard to even really tackle the list. I have list on list undone. I just wrote a list of 28 items, I've gotten 1 done, it was actually completed by Bug, he found the item not me. I just found a list of 26 items to be done that I wrote in March. I've only done 8 of the items off the list. I have decided to try and get 7 of the items done today.
I think these mental problems I have are affecting me socially too, I feel like I am very anti-social because I close myself off from people for I feel inadequate to actually have friends. I do not want to be judged or hurt because of the problems I have with myself.
A couple months ago I was mailing a letter in the mailbox downtown. I grabbed the letter and was about to mail it when my son asked me who the letter was for. I told him it was for Elder Jones. He wanted to send his love so he kissed the letter so it would make it to the Elder safe and fast. As I took it back and was about to put it into the mailbox he started crying. I asked him why he was crying. His response was that he missed this Elder so much and was worried that the Elder would never see him again. He said that the Elder and to come back to our church and that our church is where he belonged. It is weird to think that he cried over and Elder he knew for only about 12 weeks, still desperately missing him months later. This seems so weird to be for he doesn't cry over not seeing his great grandpa, who he adores. This young man made a huge impression on my son while he was here.