07 July 2011

Struggling with Life

I sit here writing a blog starting on paper for I am stuck outside at Bug's Swim lesson. I have no book to read so to not waste my time completely I have decided to try and write.

I have come to realize I have two Mental problems. I have know that I have had one of these for a handful of years. I had received help with it at one point for a couple of months. Now though I struggle to deal with it alone, without help. some days are better then others, other times it seems so bad that its near impossible to function. I think its also causing my insomnia to be worse and that is why I have episodes of really bad insomnia. I think its also helping along my other mental problem. which isn't a horrible case of the mental problem, but I have now realize that I do have a problem with it. I can make list of to help correct the affects of the problem, but I think the first mental problem makes it so hard to even really tackle the list. I have list on list undone. I just wrote a list of 28 items, I've gotten 1 done, it was actually completed by Bug, he found the item not me. I just found a list of 26 items to be done that I wrote in March. I've only done 8 of the items off the list. I have decided to try and get 7 of the items done today.

I think these mental problems I have are affecting me socially too, I feel like I am very anti-social because I close myself off from people for I feel inadequate to actually have friends. I do not want to be judged or hurt because of the problems I have with myself.

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