12 October 2012
I have come to realize something. At the end of summer I started working on losing weight. I was able to drop about 18 lbs. School started and disaster hit. I have gone back up about 10 lbs because of stress due to the kids at beating me up, the evil lunch lady who is just making things difficult to make thinks difficult for me because she doesn't like me, and my dad leaving my mom. Stress right now is not making this struggle to lose weight any easier. I need to lose weight because it could help my eye vision, may help restore my vision. With everything I have stopped tracking what I am eating and watching what I am eating. I know this is why I have gained. At times I so wish I could scream at people, but that probably would not help my stress levels. I am again having trouble falling asleep and not wanting to wake up in the morning. I always thought this was because of another issue I have but I just live with. At times it flairs up so I think its also affected by high stress I go through. I am tired but I cant get my brain to slow down so then I cant fall asleep. I am so tired that when I do fall asleep I don't want to wake up in the morning. I am not sure how to remedy all this. Its hard sometimes to even function. Last night I didn't want to do things so I put of doing Bug's homework with him and watched a TV show instead. that meant because of repertory that he wasn't able to start his homework till after 7:30. I had decided to go get food and we had to wait for it. We did his homework while waiting for our food to take home and eat. meaning we didn't eat till about after 8. This in itself is unhealthy to eat so late, but also makes things harder for him to get his work done. A handful of times this year I have done homework so late in the night that Bug has fallen asleep before finishing it and he had to finish it in the morning. Stress can mess up a lot. I am hoping that I can figure this out and work on learning to work around the stress and decreasing it.